Discombobulated

I think we all have times that we feel lost, confused, non-motivated and just out of whack. There is so much in this thing called life that distract us, get us off task, take us down the wrong rabbit holes, it’s a wonder we find our way at all. I’ve been having one of those weeks. I am into my 4th week of healing after a hernia surgery. I’ve never had surgery, so I had no idea what to expect. What I didn’t expect is the boredom of healing but even more so the loss of motivation.

We all think the grass is greener on the other side but I’m here to tell you it’s the very same green, nothing new going on over there. But for whatever reason we convince ourselves that having “that” over there is better than what we have right here. So here I am hating my employment and looking forward to not working, but now, I’m in the middle of my time off I’m actually missing the schedule of going to work and having something to do. That’s quaint, isn’t it? Truly what’s it’s doing is pissing me off and making me realize that my life is discombobulated. I’m not at peace being home, and I’m not a peace being at work. Something is missing.

I can’t put my finger on just what exactly is missing but I’m aware enough to know that there is something and I think that something is crucial. I think that is the the largest part of anyone’s problem, to truly ascertain what is missing in your life, so you don’t waste so many valuable years just going through the motions of getting by and thinking that everything is A OK. But deep within your soul you really can feel you’re not experiencing your truest self. That is a sad state of being and one I don’t want any of us to journey through.

The journey should be magnificent, not discombobulated. The journey should be of awe and wonder and not boredom and melancholy. But it is so difficult to find the right path and to not get lost. The side trails lead us into quicksand, bogs, dark dank places we should have not ventured into, but we do and to find our way out takes tremendous will power, courage, and strength. Often times we need a lifeline, a rope, to pull us from the peril of our own demise. Often times we never get that help and we must muster ourselves for ourselves lest we die a slow death of nothingness. I implore you if you don’t have help then reach for the nearest vine, branch, bush to escape this trap. Light your torch and just keep putting one foot in front of the other to find your way. I believe in you; I believe we can do and be anything we desire and choose. I’ve thrown you a rope and you have lit my torch. Keep on the journey.