I Just Don’t Know

I have been writing for a couple of years now and I have had what I think is a deeper understanding of life around me for many years before that. But I am here to say that I just don’t know. I might have a few intelligent words to say now and then. I might come up with a keen idea, but truth is I really don’t know anything. And then I think I do. So those around me get to hear my rants and raves and maybe so to a few who actually read this blog or who have read my book, but for the most part my voice is unheard. Is there anything I really need to say. Well, yes, I think so. I think there is a lot for all of us to say but in saying that I also know how important it is to listen.

We can get all caught up in our own egos so easily. We lose ourselves in what we think is life around us. It could be from upbringing, it could be from religion, it could be from your financial situation. But we all have a “personal” way of thinking. Sometimes a big thinker comes around and it changes the world. Sometimes a big thinker comes around and they go a different path and make billions. Sometimes a big thinker comes around and no one hears them. I’m a big thinker and I have a lot to say but when it comes right down to it, what I want to share with you is I just don’t know. I am a small star shining amongst billions and billions of stars. I can’t tell you where we came from definitively, nobody can. I can’t tell you God exists, nobody can. They can say they know without a doubt, and they do say it, but they really truly don’t know. We take much on faith and belief. But if we’re 100% honest then we don’t know if there really is a God and where we came from.

I’ve struggled with this kind of concept my whole life. I always felt different. I have trudged the trail of Christianity. I have walked paths that most would not recognize. And I always come to one question, why? As any young child may ask, why are we here, where did we come from? So, I suppose that I’m still a young child in soul even though my body is wearing out like an old use tractor. And that’s the way of life. But why? Why do we age, why do we die, we do we kill, why do we hurt, why do we love? Why are we destroying this planet faster than a blink of an eye in the big timeline of earth? Why are we so angry with another culture or people. Why are we so selfish and why are we so lost? We are an amazing creation and yet I just don’t know. I don’t have the answers that has any real meaning. And so, I have to find a humility and peace if you will in not knowing. I don’t know why life on this planet is here and why it’s actually so strange, but I know that it is and that is the first step.

So, as you read this, I hope you take a step with me on this journey of self-discovery, of a bigger meaning than shooting up schools, what kind of car you have, how much money you make, what you look like and tens of thousands of other things that distract us from just being. Trump doesn’t matter for God’s sake, and God being first oh that opens up a whole nother can of something. I don’t know most things but what I do know is actually pretty simple. Love yourself without being selfish and hurting others. Which goes right into love others, all others, not those that are just like you. And question why you are here, what is your purpose and maybe just maybe all these things that are happening that I just can’t explain why, can start to diminish and then we can all get on living a life that we were meant to live and not just go through the motions pretending.